I get to speak to many fascinating people because of my work as a Personal Transformation Therapist, NLP Practitioner and Hypnotist and I attract those who have woken up or are in the process of waking up and understand that life does not just happen to them. These are people from all walks of life, I coach managers as well as entrepreneurs. These people have an internal locus of control and they understand that they can influence what goes on in their life. They also know that there’s no perfect life and that we all have our weaknesses and that once we take full responsibility for everything which goes on in our life, we can either change what we don’t like or if we cannot change it, we can change the way we see it and act accordingly.

Allowing someone else to be responsible for our actions makes life a lot easier though, whenever something goes wrong, we can blame somebody for it, it was fate or meant to be, the economy, the government, so it just happened. The drawback of this belief is that we give our power to an external force and have no control over anything.

I believe that we can all make a difference and each of us individually can change the world by taking up responsibility and be the light for someone else who needs it. We can change how we react to circumstances and by doing so the circumstances will change.

Every morning we take the decision as to how we want our day to be, every moment we decide how we want to think about your circumstances. Our life is the result of all the decisions we have ever taken. It is not luck or bad fortune, it is about recognizing opportunities, taking a leap of faith or a step towards realizing our dream. We move toward what we put your attention on. Whatever we focus our attention on grows, so let’s focus on good thoughts and good intentions. Imagination is everything and we can become whatever we wish to be. It’s about learning to grow on obstacles which are here to teach us our lessons and learnings and understanding that it doesn’t matter what happens to us, it matters how we respond. We control your destiny, we hold the pen to our story, we and our thoughts create our life. We are all energy and the most potent form of energy is thought and a negative attitude and feelings of helplessness create chronic stress.

Here are some useful tips on how we can all make a difference:

  1. Stop being a victim and start taking massive action. Take charge and manage what life throws at you, use your obstacles as stepping stones, grow and accept the challenge. Start taking responsibility for everything that happens and understand that our power is in the response of how we want to react.
  2. Setting goals and junking them up in smaller pieces helps you achieve them. No change happens if you don’t make a change! Get rid of your limiting beliefs by realizing that many of our habits and beliefs date from a time when we were children and those beliefs don’t serve us anymore. Your parents and your educators did the best they knew when they taught you but now it is time to start believing in yourself, you are capable of doing anything you set your mind to. Always bear in mind that 95% of everything we do is driven by the subconscious mind where our values, beliefs, memories and habits are stored. If you want to change a habit, it has to be changed in the subconscious.  Have you ever seen or heard of a miracle? They happen, why would they only happen to others?
  3. Stop comparing yourself to others. You don’t know what goes on in another person’s life. Many people feel insecure, envious and discontented with their life because of what they see on social media. Always remember that you don’t have the full picture about others, but you know what goes on with you. The only person who can change and improve things in your life is you.
  4. Stop being a sheep and do what all the others do. Become your own hero, dare to be different, what other people think of you is their problem, not yours. The best investment you can make is in yourself and it is never too late to learn something new or start from scratch, It’s your life and entirely up to you what you do with it.
  5. Complain less and appreciate more. We all do the best we can with the resources we have available, we don’t need to take everything personally and not everybody is out there to get us. Have a little faith…
  6. Stop being judgmental in a bad way! In order to form an opinion of someone, we have to judge but this can be done in a good way and by respecting our differences and embracing our similarities. It is not an easy thing to do, we spend a lot of time judging others by gossiping and even just by looking at someone. We judge others because we need to feel better about ourselves. Being judgmental is not a behaviour that serves us, in the long run, it can actually make us ill.
  7. Be kind to others. You never know what someone is going through and being kind costs absolutely nothing and making someone feel good reflects on us, makes us feel good too because our brain releases happiness hormones. Even a small act of kindness can make a huge difference in someone’s life, a helping hand, holding a door or just a kind “how are you” can brighten someone’s day.
  8. Practice Gratitude. It is the most resourceful state you can be in because you cannot be grateful and unhappy at the same time. So being grateful means you are happy, and if you are happy, then you feel positive, energetic, enthusiastic, relaxed, and optimistic. Gratitude can be practised by keeping a gratitude journal and writing down a few things that you are grateful for every day. If you don’t want to write things down, you can just think of what you are grateful for every morning when you wake up or you can be grateful every time you open a water tap or turn on a light switch. There are many opportunities to feel grateful throughout the day.
  9. Realize that stress is the cause of 90% of all disease. The antidote to stress is mindfulness and meditation. When we are stressed, our body goes into fight and flight response and our brain releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol which are harmful to our health. Our immune system becomes weak, our heart rate increases, our blood pressure is elevated, and our digestive system is affected negatively. When we are relaxed, grateful and happy, the healing neurotransmitters Serotonin, Oxytocin, Dopamine and Endorphins are released.
Elisabeth Villiger Toufexis
Elisabeth Villiger Toufexis is a Master Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Hypnotist as well as the author of the book “The Soul Kit” first aid for the Soul. She is also an international motivational speaker. Elisabeth is originally from Switzerland but lives in Cyprus. She speaks 6 languages and occasionally still works as an interpreter.

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